Jesus In Me

I'm a contractor for a national bank in the IT department, and they recently put out positions that were permanent and full-time. I was the only contractor from my training class that did not get picked up and I did not know why. It was hard seeing my friends get their jobs and me not getting it. I mean really, I have no health insurance and my lease is up in a few months and I need to be live right? I didn't know how to take it and went home very upset and depressed. I didn't know why I wasn't hired.

Today, I found out that there is some evidence that I speak to some people in a condescending and rude manner. I had no idea, but enough people said it to keep me from getting hired on. Am I like this? The scary thing is believe my workplace to be my mission field and if I am not representing Christ in my words or in my actions then people are not seeing Jesus in me. I believe now that God has allowed this to happen to get to these things about me that I don't see dealt with. I'm going to be in some form of ministry one day and I need to be a man that people see Jesus in every day. I want all the glory in my life to go to God...and for people to see Jesus in me.

On a side note...its a bit weird to talk about, but my personal life just seems to be a bit weird nowadays. I had someone very close to me say some things that blew me out of the water. More importantly, I know she meant them. I'm not sure how to deal with them now. I didn't expect her to say what she did. I'd like to share something about this friend though... there are so many wonderful things about her that she doesn't see. She considers herself selfish for what she told me and notes how selfish she is in life. She doesn't see or understand that there are things about her that inspire others, including me. I hope that over time she comes to grasp what others see in her. I hope and pray that Jesus impacts her life anew. She has a special plan laid out by God for life.

Good night everyone.