Today I went to see Amanda, my cousin through my wife, get married. She married a great kid who has hopefully learned from watching what I've gone through. It was odd as I watched people who used to greet me as family mostly ignore me as they filed in. A couple gave polite hellos, a couple people waved, and one person actually said hello by talking through a child. It was awkward and painful to be a part of. Watching Amanda and Nathan was beautiful and painful to watch. It was beautiful to watch two people who loved each other so much get married before God. It was painful because it was almost 9 years ago today that I stood in Nathan's place promising my wife I'd always love her and cherish her. It was painful watching Amanda make those same vows and remembering my wife make them to me. Over the years, I failed to keep those vows, and now so has my wife. I only find peace in knowing when I gave my life back to the Lord, I did everything I could to save my marriage. I still hope my wife someday remembers her vows to me and more importantly to God.
For Amanda and Nathan, I pray that they always put each other before themselves and God before anything. If they live by Ephesians 5, their marriage will be a rich and satisfying union. There is still hope for marriages and God doesn't let us forget our vows that easily.
5 comments:
I read this on another friend's Blog today and thought of you.
"The function of disillusionment is to make us reevaluate what is really worth pursuing in life.
Disillusionment is a very important thing.
Until we find ourselves disillusioned, we are far too inclined to worship what is not God." - Joan Chittister
I know it hurts a lot, but in time you will see things much clearer.
Maybe its because its 1 am, but are you saying I'm disillusioned? If so, how? I'd like to know. :)
Don't make your wife more than she is. She is not your source of happiness. I know it hurts. I know it hurts a lot...
Focus on your True Source...
God wants to fill you with His love, so you can pour it out into others! THAT is living!
Everything else is just a byproduct of Him! He is ALL IN ALL!
I've known for a long time my wife is not my source of happiness. However, that doesn't change 9 years of marriage to someone. If it comes across that she is my source of happiness, then I've painted an incorrect picture. I've been plenty satisfied over the past 8 months. God has been very faithful to me. However, it doesn't stop me from wanting to see my marriage restored. Its just me being faithful to the vows I took.
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