It was not very long ago when I blogged about my dreams and then gave them to God. It was a heartfelt prayer that brought tears to my eyes as I wrote it. Who would have thought that giving something away that I held so dearly would result in meeting Jenn in just a few short weeks?
A couple months later, I started mentioning how some of my fears and insecurities were coming out. In June I wrote that I felt free of these concerns, but little did I know that I really was not free at all. The past few months were rough as I struggled to give all these fears to God over and over again. However, Jenn stuck with me. She’s proven to me that unconditional love exists. She keeps proving it every time I act like a child or when I am silent and do not want to talk.
This is what has become different for me. While I’ve never been afraid to love someone unconditionally, it’s been so surprising and even hard to accept that someone would love me in the same way, if not greater. I’m used to someone saying the words but being unable to take action. This is not a judgment against those I’ve dated or anything, it’s just in Jenn’s case I can truly see and feel her love being unconditional. She keeps pressing in on my heart. Where others have tried and failed or just plain never tried, Jenn succeeds in loving me and as she loves me, I am able to one-by-one hand my fears and insecurities to God.
As for loving Jenn, well it’s been amazing and an answer to the prayer I wrote out late one March night. I asked for a second chance to love someone, and I was blessed with a second chance soon after. How does that happen? I’ve done the best I can to run with it. I hope Jenn can agree that I’ve given myself into loving her. I study profusely what it is to be a husband and I seek God’s face on how to be a better man. There is such a long way to go, but to be in love, to live again, to hope again, it’s such an awesome feeling. I’m so thankful for a God that answers prayers and gives us the desires of our heart
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