Dreams

I think its amazing that somehow I've managed to hold on to all my dreams and even come up with new ones over the past couple of years. Many of these dreams are God-planted and I know they can only come to fruition by faith in who He is. I think sometimes I try to make things happen that aren't there and since I try hard at pretty much everything I do, those things don't usually always end well. Yet I still have dreams and I understand that while God has given me those dreams, I need to just submit them back to Him. They aren't just my dreams, they are His. I think this is evidenced in everything from my dating life to professional life. I understand that He won't relent until He has it all....He wants my heart. (Great Misty Edwards praise and worship song) Those dreams are part of my heart. I'm going to write out my prayer here. I'm not posting it here to garner attention or to try and take away from private time from Him, but to publicly state what I am giving my God.

Dear Father, thank you for all that you are and if I have done anything this evening against you please forgive me. Father, its strange that I talk to you everyday but yet can't seem to give the simplest things to you. Despite all the places you've taken me in the past year and a half, I still find ways to hold back pieces of myself hidden from you. Father, I have all these dreams buried in me for a wife and a family. I want the opportunity to love a woman again and do things the way you ordained them to be. Oh God to have a second chance...it is my hearts desire. I want to hold a son or daughter and whisper that Jesus loves them into their ears as I put them down to sleep and pray over them one last time for the night. I want the opportunity to raise them up in you with no fear but in your strength. Oh God I give these hopes and dreams to you and trust that you will provide when the time is right.

Lord, you've placed in my heart a ministry for relationships...take this dream Lord and do your will please oh Father. Prepare me Lord. Give me wisdom and the strength to stand in Love. Give me your eyes to see people as you see them, and not as I sometimes see them. Make me into a man that you will use to change the world. Oh Father take this dream....take it and grow it please Oh God. In the meantime, Father please just guide me where to go and what to do. I submit this to you knowing I have no idea what I'm doing and that I need you to hold my hand through it. I can not face this alone. Take my dreams, hopes, shortcomings, strengths, my weaknesses, flaws and fill me with your joy. Take it Father....please just take it. Help me to be myself 100 percent of the time again, not just half the time. Help me to make my friends laugh again like I used to. Help me to be who you made me to be. I love you Jesus and thank you for all that you are doing in my life.

Derek