Trials

I'm learning that to be unshakable you must go through many trials. The Lord had an easier path for me that I didn't take by not being obedient to him as the spiritual head of the family, and now I must take the harder road. The cool thing is due to his promise in Romans 8:28, he's going to work it out for good and reach more people through me then before. I'll take that any day of the week. Yesterday, for the first time I can remember, it was just God and I dealing with a trial, and when I prayed, he took care of it. I didn't have anyone else to lean on at the moment, and to be honest, some of that is by my choice because I wanted to just lean on God. We all need our church support in this world, however I really needed to see God work within me...and he did.

My faith is being developed through these trials. I have plenty of things to stand in faith about: my church, a good job and finances, whatever mission the Lord has planned for me, and my marriage.
The marriage is hardest one to deal with because at first glance, it looks absolutely dead. My wife is walking a different path than I am at the moment. Many people that I know and respect have told me to just file papers and start over saying, "God will provide someone better." To be honest, I've thought about it and I do understand that the Lord would provide someone for me to spend my life with, but in my heart I can't do it. God hates divorce more then I do, and he wants this to work more then I do. Most importantly, he wants both of us doing his work together as a team in covenant, like we were originally meant to be. I don't want to stand before God one day and have him ask me why I did not stand in faith for my wife, nor would I want my wife to do the same. So I choose the route that the world and some Christians deem to be foolish: I'm standing in faith that the Lord is going to work on my wife as much as he's working on me, and that at God's appointed time, our paths will be brought back together. I've also sat back with the Lord and noted that I understand that I'm not meant to wait forever too. So in that, I know that as I'm faithful my Lord is being faithful, and that he is going before me on these matters. I'm standing in faith.

Before my wife and I separated, she told me that she had been taking the situation to God. I have a decent understanding of her issues now, and as I sat back on Sunday morning an interesting fact came to my attention: The Lord answered her prayer, and the irony is she's not around to see it. I realized that the Lord worked on me to bring me back to him, and once I came back he started a good work in me...and he will complete it. I'm becoming the husband that she wanted all along. He answered her prayers. So as these trials continue, I understand that he will answer my prayers. He saved us because he loves us and he wants to answer the prayers of those he loves. And because I believe this, despite all the pain I'm going through, despite all the temptations I face, and despite how foolish I look in the face of all these trials, I believe my God will bring my wife back, will provide the job he desires for me, will bless whatever ministry he places me in, and will make me the unshakable man of God he intends for me to be.

Faith is being sure of what you hope for and being certain of what you can not see.
(Hebrews 11:1 NIV)