This blog contains my story, but it is not about me. I'm going to reference my life, but nonetheless...it is not about me. I'm sharing this story to be a testimony to others...an encouragement for those walking through their own valleys, or maybe a story of hope for those in a situation where it doesn't seem God is listening. He is....he's always listening.
My name is Derek. Despite being raised a Christian, my eyes have seen alot of hurt and my body has felt more then its fair share of pain. There are portions of my childhood before the age of 10 that I simply can't remember except for that I hated vacuum cords. In the midst of all that hurt, I do remember my mother coming into my room when I was 7 or 8 in tears. She laid hands on me and prayed over me and then asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus Christ into my heart as Lord and Savior. I did it without a second thought, and even though I've been through what seems to be an eternity of issues, I can still reflect upon that day as the day my walk with the Lord began.
As I grew up, I still struggled with anger and other scars from childhood. I remember being in high school and some kid starting a fight with me after class. I lost my temper and proceeded to beat the tar out of him to the point where his face was not recognizable. I don't even remember most of the fight. I was too angry to remember it. I was viewed as a hypocrite from that point forward by people as a Christian guy one second beat up someone the next. I carried these issues into my marriage to my wife.
My marriage to my wife started well. We did devotions every night and we prayed together. However we each brought our own baggage into this marriage. Now I'm not going to tell you what her issues were. I love my wife very much and would give up my life before putting her in any pain so her issues remain private, but I can tell you that our issues and our weaknesses allowed Satan an inroads into our marriage. I now stand before you a man who is separated from his wife as a result.
However, in the months before my wife and I separated, the Lord began to call out to me...truth is he probably was the entire time but I failed to listen. In July 2007, I found a church in Pickerington, Ohio through my sister and we started going there...and I began my walk towards the Lord. It has now been three months since my wife and I separated and I'm now closer to the Lord then I've ever been despite all the pain I'm going through. I'm happier then I've ever been. How is this possible? That's why its not about me...its about God....Jesus...his power...his love...his grace...his mercy. If I were alone it would be safe to say that I should be afraid because I don't know what is going to happen to me, but I cling to God's Word that states, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)
No matter what our circumstances we should not be afraid. If whatever situation you are in has you scared then remember that God has something for that. It's all about him...and he's the one who can make us unshakeable.
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