"Pick Up Your Sword"

Micah and I went on a pilgrammage of sorts this weekend. We rented a car with money we don't have, and drove 11 hours starting before dawn on Saturday morning to Kansas City, Missouri. We encountered cleared skies, cloudy skies, and finally a snow storm just outside of the city. We came here seeking the face of God away from Columbus just so we could focus on our walks outside of the disturbances of everyday life. I wanted to focus on God and get some of the garbage cleared out of me that has lingered in me for most of my life. So we went to my friend's place and made our way to the International House of Prayer (IHOP). Its a 24/7 house of prayer where people literally fast and pray there every day...and night. It was a great opportunity to just spend time in God's presence and seek His face.

So we went to the prayer room for about an hour and a half and got soaked up for the evening and then we went to get food with our friends. We then went to Saturday night service and listened to Mike Bickle teach on the Book of Revelation...well more specifically the 6th seal of judgment. It was interesting and I'm definitely going to study it, but honestly thats not why I was there. I was there to seek God's face. I was there to get healing in my heart. I was there wanting my God to touch my life. I've never been so hungry for God. I've never wanted Him more then I did (and do) tonight. So when Mr. Bickle finished his teaching he invited anyone who needed prayer to come up and I looked at Micah and I got up and went to the front. I started praying and decided that I was not leaving until God touched me.

I continued to pray but I started getting the feeling in my core that I needed to pray for the man next to me. In my mind I questioned God and said I was there to be prayed for...who am I to pray for anyone? Finally I gave in and turned to pray for the man next to me just as he was turning towards me. He said, "Hello my name is Lonny, and I think God wants me to pray for you." I said I thought I was supposed to pray for him and we decided to pray for each other. I prayed for him and sure enough God gave me a word for him. And then he prayed for me...and he had a word for me. He said God loves me, and that I needed to focus on the cross. He reminded me of the my salvation and how I was washed clean. Something like that anyways. We prayed a little more and then chatted for a second before Lonny hooked up with Micah and they talked for a bit. I said I wasn't done and walked back up to the altar. I wanted more.

I began to imagine a heart with wounds. It was torn and shredded. I started to see that heart mend until it was a whole heart again. The cycle repeated itself and I intensified the prayer. Then another man came up to me and gave me the same exact message as Lonny gave me. At that point it really hit me. God wasn't wanting anything major at that moment. He wasn't wanting to tell me about all of my future plans and etc. He just wanted me to know how much He loves me. Ever since I lost my marriage, I've fought so hard for others in trying to encourage them that I think I've really missed the understanding of how much He loves me. I've always known how much He loves me, but it wasn't apparent either. It wasn't until tonight when two different men whom I've never met came up and gave me the exact same message did I understand how much His love is real. I finally understood that His blood has saved me, but His love has also healed my heart through the cleansing healing power of His blood. It was a breakthrough moment for me. I'll never forget the realization of God's love that came to me tonight. I asked for Him to change my life...and in that moment, He did.

I still stayed there though...and prayed a little longer. I just asked talking to him and before I knew it I was speaking out loud the words that began to flow in my heart. "Pick up your sword, you are a member of the Army of God. I love you and you do love Me. I will always be with you, and you will always be with me. I will never leave you, so pick up your sword and fight."

These words are huge for me because I've always wanted to be a warrior. He knew exactly what he was saying to me. He knew how to reach my heart. He knew how to get to me...and he did. He has validated me and loved me. He has anointed me and commisioned me. What a mighty God we serve. What a mighty God indeed.