I once had this beautiful guitar. I bought it from my brother-in-law when I was at Ohio State, but I decided to put aside learning how to play it until I finished school. Unfortunately, that never happened. Just two weeks before I graduated from college, my wife left me. A couple weeks later, I felt an impression upon my heart to return the guitar to her brother. I believed it was the Lord telling me what to do, so I fulfilled the request.
The only problem was that I didn't want to give it back. I had already lost my wife, so why should I have to lose the guitar too? I was in a lot of pain, and the guitar would have been the perfect outlet for that pain. It hurt me to give it up. I didn't understand why the Lord wanted me to return it to her brother (I still don't know), but it left me feeling even more empty than before.
A couple weeks later, I went home to visit my family for Christmas. I was completely miserable. It was my first Christmas in years without my wife, and I was as lonely as I could be. I spent hours a day tearing myself down while everyone else was trying to support me. Nothing my family tried to do would work. There was no joy...no happiness...no hope.
When Christmas morning came around, I watched the family open gifts without much interest. Then my mother handed me a large box. As I unwrapped the present, she told me how Joel 2:25-26 kept running through her mind as she contemplated buying the gift. In the verse, God says the following: "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten--the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm--my great army that I sent among you." (NIV)
I found a brand new guitar inside the large box. I burst into tears as I embraced my mother. I couldn't believe that what I had lost just days earlier had now been returned to me. Joy filled my heart at the gift that I knew that God had provided for me. Even though I never fully learned how to play the instrument, I spent many nights sitting with it in my arms passing the time away. When I practiced on it, everything else moved into the background. In those moments, I remembered how much God loves me. He literally re-paid me what was taken from me, and God did it in a way that made me feel important to Him.
I now believe that the guitar was meant to symbolize something else. I think God was telling me that everything else that I had lost would be returned to me. It's been four years since that Christmas, and I can tell you that the Lord has more than restored what I have lost. He's given me something greater. I'm re-married to a woman who I know will never give up on me, even when my own insecurities get in the way. We have a home together that's ours alone. Finally, we have a home church that loves us.
As I sit here this morning, I realize that I'm a blessed man. Despite all of my imperfections, God has blessed me. I know that sometimes I'm too blind to see it, but that doesn't change what he's done for me. It started out as a guitar, but it's grown into something far more wonderful than I could ever imagine.
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