A Bitter Heart

"Bitterness is the poison you drink, hoping that it will kill someone else."

One of my favorite people in the world gave me this quote a couple of years ago, and it’s stuck with me. I think we all struggle with bitterness, and if we aren’t careful it can change us. It can taint the person that we are or destroy the dreams that we pursue. In marriage, it can destroy all that is good about it. It causes us to stop looking at the positives in our spouse and to dwell upon the negatives. Bitterness causes us to stop wanting the best for our spouses, and in extreme cases, to wish harm upon them. It should be no surprise that bitterness often goes hand-in-hand with unforgiveness. If we can’t forgive someone for how they’ve hurt us, then we wind up resenting them. We grow selfish. And most importantly, perhaps, we lose perspective on how blessed we are to have that person in our life.

While doing some studying over the past week, a section of 2 Samuel has really impacted me. You can find the story in 2 Samuel 6. This is when King David had the ark of God (ark of the covenant) brought back to Jerusalem.* During the celebration, David humbled himself and wore only a linen ephod.** He danced nearly naked in front of his people and humbled himself before God, choosing to celebrate before the Lord instead of concerning himself with making the event one of pomp and circumstance. When Michal saw this, the Bible notes that Michal despised David in her heart. When he returned home, she greeted him by sarcastically poking at him for his lack of discretion by disrobing in public in front of slave girls (and the rest of his people). David responded by telling her he was dancing before the Lord and that he would become even more undignified to do so. He would humiliate himself in his own eyes for the Lord. David told her that those same slave girls would hold him in honor. She failed to see her husband’s heart and how that pleased God. Michal’s actions are a far cry from the Michal described in 1 Samuel.

In 1 Samuel 18:20, the Bible notes that Michal was in love with David, and in 1 Samuel 19:12-13, Michal saves David’s life as Saul tried to kill him. With David on the run, Saul gave Michal to another man, who fell in love with her. Later, when David became king of Judah, he requested the return of Michal as his wife, and her husband followed after her weeping. Through Saul’s actions, Michal had two marriages torn apart. She was passed around like a prize or trophy. Evidently she grew bitter, as even though she was returned to the man she first loved, she had to compete with David’s other wives for attention. It seems that even though her husband was described by God as being a man after God’s own heart, she was unable to look past his negatives and the circumstances that surrounded the downfall of Saul’s House. She grew bitter. In the end, she could not see her husband’s actions as glorifying God, even though the rest of Israel, including the slave girls, could see it. She lost perspective.

The Bible ends the story noting that Michal had no children until the day of her death, which is important. To be placed there at the end of the story, to me, means that God had a plan to bless her with children, but due to her heart being shrouded in bitterness against David and God, she was not given children. A child would have made sure the line of Saul continued, and possibly could have meant her child would have been chosen to be king after David. I’m not saying this would have happened, but in dying childless, it sends a great message: bitterness results in death. When she died, all of her died with her. She had no one to carry on for her and no legacy to leave behind to future generations. In the end, her bitterness towards David resulted in not his death, but hers. The same can happen to us. If we don’t learn to forgive and release our bitterness, it doesn’t kill those we are bitter towards, it kills the one who is bitter. It destroys everything they hold dear, including families, relationships, and their walks with God. My prayer for today is that if there is any bitterness in me from past struggles, that God would help me to let it go, and so are my prayers for you. I don’t want to leave a legacy of bitterness behind, do you?

* The ark of God was captured by the Philistines. The ark brought trouble to the Philistines and was eventually returned to the Israelites.

** An ephod was linen usually worn by priests with their robes. The ephod itself covered very little and if worn without other clothing would expose the wearer’s more private regions.