The Tongue is a Fire

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone feels the need to try and tell me what I’m doing wrong by yelling at me, belittling me, or just by forcing it down my throat. Sometimes they try to disguise it with, “I’m just telling the truth.” Sometimes they throw in the L-word thinking it will cushion the blow (“I’m only saying this out of love”). In the end, though, even if the there is truth to it, the targeted person is left feeling disrespected and, in many cases, repulsed. I had someone close to me do this a couple months ago, and the sting of it remains. I have forgiven this person, but I do not want anything to do with this “friend.” Since it’s been a multiple-repeat performance, I feel as though I’m better off without this person in my life. Of course, it would be hypocritical for me to forget that I’ve been guilty of pushing my feelings on other people too, so I guess I understand both directions. We want to try and help someone, but in the end, because our words were harsh and forceful, we get pushed away.

Sometimes we just get angry and say something hurtful. We fail to see how much our words crush someone, and we usually do this to the people we are closest to. According to James 4, the tongue is a fire capable of so much evil. I’ve seen the damage it can cause when I’ve lost patience with Jenn and said something rude or hurtful. I’ve seen her spirit just shrink away, and I hate it. I hate seeing hurt in her eyes. However, when I let her know how much I love her or when I tell her how beautiful she is, she sparkles. The tongue has the power to destroy, and the power to nourish one’s heart and soul. I need to be more careful with how I speak to people; I think we all do. I want everyone who speaks with me to know I care about them and feel blessed by my words.