It's amazing: nearly three months ago, Jenn and I were married. Hey, we even have the pictures to prove it! I can also tell you that marriage has not proven to be easy. To be honest, it's been hard at times. I've come to a point where I'm at a crossroads in my life. I remember the man I used to be, and a few certain people still find ways to question whether I've changed or grown at all. I find myself wondering if I'll ever become the man I want to be. Will I ever be the strong, loving husband Jenn needs me to be? Will I be an attentive father for the children I one day hope to have?
I remember a few months ago writing a very public prayer about my dreams, and it wasn't long after that that Jenn walked into my life. God answered my prayers, and yet here I am, months later, knowing that there is more yet to be done. So I guess I have another prayer to pray. My prayer is that God continue to repair old wounds that seem to heal ever so slowly. My prayer is that God show me how to love and communicate with my wife in such a way that she'll never forget why she married me. My prayer is that God take this union and make it strong, with no holes or weaknesses. I love my wife, and I love my God. And because I love them both, my prayer is just to become a better man. I'm flawed, eternally flawed, but yet I know there is more to me. I know, to quote the movie "Aladdin," that I am a diamond in the rough.
My goals for this year are prioritized:
A. To become a better follower of Christ;
B. To become a better husband, and to strengthen our marriage; and
C. To become a better son, brother, and uncle.
It's not just about being a better me (to quote the cliché), but it's about recognizing and learning from my mistakes, and growing as a result of them. I no longer want to be a diamond in the rough; I just want to be a diamond! Lord, please polish me and make me your diamond. That's the route I choose... I choose the future and not my past.
