I used to sing...years ago. When I was in high school, I used to sing both there and at church. I used to be decent...I think. One day I woke up and realized that just wasn't as good as I thought I was, and I stopped. I started again a few years later, but the confidence in myself was gone. Isn't that kinda how it goes? I think the kicker on all the confidence is that I was in a fight (not proud of it) when I was on my ship back in 2000. During the fight, I busted my nose and the next day when I was running up the stairwell to the bridge, I slipped and fell on the wounded nose, and completely broke it. My breathing and my voice have never been the same.
Its years later and one day my buddy Isaac heard me singing out of nowhere. He told me I was pretty good...and I was embarrassed. I've thought about asking to get involved with music at church, but they have a loaded group of wonderful talent, plus my guitar skills equal horrible. However, I have to face the truth...God gave me at least some talent and if I'm not using it...I'm wasting it.
So the other day Isaac and I were talking and he happens to be getting married in May. Apparently because I've made this great impact on his life (I hope I have), he wants me to have a role in his wedding. I jokingly mentioned I could sing in his wedding, and he said he'd love that and told me to get a song and he'd have his fiance put it in. I was like...what....did that just happen? Uh Oh... Holy Crap what am I going to do?? Well, I guess I'm going to sing again on May 3, 2009 in Cincinnati, Ohio...at my friends wedding. A WEDDING OF ALL PLACES!!! Can you believe that? A year ago I never would have set foot in a wedding let alone sing at one. Maybe I can find a date or something to be there for moral support.
So now I'm singing again. I've picked out a song, and now I've gotta get to work. I feel like I'm in high school again.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Fireproof II
I was true to my word tonight. I came home, grabbed the cat, a box of tissues, and a blanket, and with a resounding thud met my couch. I then turned on "Fireproof" knowing that I was going to face who I was and what I've lost, yet again. It did not disappoint and as expected I balled my eyes out. By the end of the movie I was crying to God to forgive me and praying so hard it was almost mind numbing. If you are married, you need to see it. If you are not married, you need to see it.
The last few weeks have been a wild ride for me. It seemed like I was going through a dry spell with God in early December. I wasn't getting sleep and anyone who knows me knows what happens when I don't sleep. I'm gruff as it is, but I can assure you I'm a tough cookie to be around without sleep. I was feeling empty and lost. I started pressing in with God and at the same time my church started to have Sunday night prayer services, which by the way was an answer to prayer. Let me tell you that God has been working in me to dig out these things that were buried like you would not believe, and to add to that, He's brought back into my life such wonderful blessings in the form of warriors from my past whom I'd thought forgot me long ago.
Tonight feels like a culmination of so much... its hard for me to explain, but just I know there is something different...something changed in me. Things keep changing in me.
If you're married and you're reading this, Fireproof your marriage. Its not worth it to lose what God put out there. But do more then fireproof your marriage...fireproof your home, fireproof your heart, fireproof your ministries. Never stop...keep pushing...keep pressing in. In marriage, work, church, friendships, you name it, Jesus is the Answer...
The last few weeks have been a wild ride for me. It seemed like I was going through a dry spell with God in early December. I wasn't getting sleep and anyone who knows me knows what happens when I don't sleep. I'm gruff as it is, but I can assure you I'm a tough cookie to be around without sleep. I was feeling empty and lost. I started pressing in with God and at the same time my church started to have Sunday night prayer services, which by the way was an answer to prayer. Let me tell you that God has been working in me to dig out these things that were buried like you would not believe, and to add to that, He's brought back into my life such wonderful blessings in the form of warriors from my past whom I'd thought forgot me long ago.
Tonight feels like a culmination of so much... its hard for me to explain, but just I know there is something different...something changed in me. Things keep changing in me.
If you're married and you're reading this, Fireproof your marriage. Its not worth it to lose what God put out there. But do more then fireproof your marriage...fireproof your home, fireproof your heart, fireproof your ministries. Never stop...keep pushing...keep pressing in. In marriage, work, church, friendships, you name it, Jesus is the Answer...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Fireproof
Ever since the movie “Fireproof” came out, I’ve wanted to watch it…and I’ve avoided watching it at the same time. The basic of the story is that there is a married couple whose marriage is about to blow up, and the husband's father gives him a journal with biblical things to do. God uses it to bring them back to Him and save their marriage. I’ve wanted to see it because marriage is such a passion of mine on my heart, but I’ve avoided it because I know watching it will remind me of all of my failures and all of my mistakes. I wasn’t ready to face myself in the mirror one more time.
However, today my mom made it a point to tell me she’d seen it and how much it had impacted her. I reacted with anger that had just come from no where. I wasn’t angry at my ex, I was angry at myself, and I was angry at not getting the same chance the guy in the movie got to save his marriage. I was angry because I was once that man, you know the man who was selfish and all about himself. I was the man who allowed other things to bring down his walk with God and his relationship with his wife. I was that man! I realized at that point that for all of the forgiving I’ve had to do, I’ve never forgiven myself. I’ve forgiven mt ex-wife and the friends of hers that got involved. I’ve forgiven the members of her family that sat back and encouraged her to do what she did. However, I’ve never forgiven myself for all my flaws. I’ve never forgiven myself for doing all the things that lead to the pain I went through. I've never forgiven myself for not being the husband she needed and wanted. I’ve never forgiven myself and accepted that the Derek who was left that Sunday morning does not exist anymore.
Today, I’m making a conscious decision that I know will affect the rest of my life. On my way home, I’m picking up Fireproof, going to grab Megatron, a box of tissues, and a blanket, and I’m going to watch that movie. Then I’m going to thank God that he allowed such a powerful movie to be made, and forgive myself for all that I’ve done. I’m just not that guy anymore. I’m different…it’s time I accepted it, and started acting like it. I’m not living in defeat any more. I am not the man I was…I am redeemed by the resurrecting power of Jesus Christ and through that grace and mercy alone, I deserve a second chance. No more of this…no more doubts…no more wondering…just doing…and it starts now.
However, today my mom made it a point to tell me she’d seen it and how much it had impacted her. I reacted with anger that had just come from no where. I wasn’t angry at my ex, I was angry at myself, and I was angry at not getting the same chance the guy in the movie got to save his marriage. I was angry because I was once that man, you know the man who was selfish and all about himself. I was the man who allowed other things to bring down his walk with God and his relationship with his wife. I was that man! I realized at that point that for all of the forgiving I’ve had to do, I’ve never forgiven myself. I’ve forgiven mt ex-wife and the friends of hers that got involved. I’ve forgiven the members of her family that sat back and encouraged her to do what she did. However, I’ve never forgiven myself for all my flaws. I’ve never forgiven myself for doing all the things that lead to the pain I went through. I've never forgiven myself for not being the husband she needed and wanted. I’ve never forgiven myself and accepted that the Derek who was left that Sunday morning does not exist anymore.
Today, I’m making a conscious decision that I know will affect the rest of my life. On my way home, I’m picking up Fireproof, going to grab Megatron, a box of tissues, and a blanket, and I’m going to watch that movie. Then I’m going to thank God that he allowed such a powerful movie to be made, and forgive myself for all that I’ve done. I’m just not that guy anymore. I’m different…it’s time I accepted it, and started acting like it. I’m not living in defeat any more. I am not the man I was…I am redeemed by the resurrecting power of Jesus Christ and through that grace and mercy alone, I deserve a second chance. No more of this…no more doubts…no more wondering…just doing…and it starts now.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Doubt
It’s human nature to doubt ourselves and God. We think we hear this amazing plan and we come to believe it only to all of the sudden start to question it when things don’t go out way. Guess what…that’s exactly what I’m doing now. Its hard even when God uses you to see your own worth. I think when it’s hard to see your worth to God you doubt the very things God has planned for you. I guess that’s my prayer today. I have so many hopes and dreams, so many things I want to do. I want God to use me to change lives, and yet sometimes, I feel as though I’m not good enough. I’ve lost so much over the years. I went through fathers like water, lost a marriage, lost friendships, and other relationships were just broken. There has to be a reason why right? I don’t know these answers…do I really need to know them? Is there really a way to know what I’m worth to God and to others?
I guess I just am going to keep the faith and keep seeking God. I don’t really have much to lose as it is. I admit, I’m doubting a lot right now. I even doubt some of the closest relationships I have out there, but I guess the question should be has God ever given me any reason to doubt Him. The answer is no, He has not. Others may give me reason to doubt them but I suppose if a mighty and holy God can never give up on me, I should in turn pay it forward.
I guess I just am going to keep the faith and keep seeking God. I don’t really have much to lose as it is. I admit, I’m doubting a lot right now. I even doubt some of the closest relationships I have out there, but I guess the question should be has God ever given me any reason to doubt Him. The answer is no, He has not. Others may give me reason to doubt them but I suppose if a mighty and holy God can never give up on me, I should in turn pay it forward.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Divine Appointment
Tonight marked the first night that C3's men's community group met. It was a night that had snow on the ground and people sledding down our hill as I pulled into the church parking lot. Unfortunately that also meant half of the group not showing up, which initially made me feel bad. However, I decided to take the whoever is here is meant to be here and we started the study. Tonight was more about building a foundation in our study. We're going to be looking at Jame, but in building a foundation we actually started in Judges tonight. We had a great time. We ordered pizza and just started talking about men and leadership. The conversation was flowing quite well when a young man in uniform knocked on our door. He asked if our church was having church tonight, I told him we were and that right now we were enjoying some male fellowship and invited him in. He sat down and I explained what we were about. It was obvious he came here looking for something. So we all talked and listened...and things got interesting.
We all prayed when the group time ended and I took him around to meet others who were in the church. I introduced him to Chris and Tim, our worship leaders, Becky, the children's director and future missionary, Gary, our executive pastor, and Konan, our head pastor. He seemed to click with everyone and he noted how everyone just welcomed him in. He then told me how he expected to just walk into our church to ask about services, get a short unwelcoming answer, and then leave. That was not the case. He felt welcomed and he stayed for the service.
When the service started he sort of just stood there while we praised God. He was antsy and I knew that God was working in him as he just kinda looked around. Konan asked us to pray for what the Lord wanted us to do, and as the kid would tell me a bit later, the words got to him and he gave his life to Jesus. I sat down with him a few minutes later and talked to him, and as I was talking to him, I just felt the Lord speaking into my heart for this young man. I communicated to him what the Lord was telling me and let Pastor know that we had a new Christian in our church.
The thing that amazes me about this kid is he saw himself as selfish for seeking God. I laughed and told him it took me 8 years to do what he just did. It was brave of him to walk into a church with people he's never met and stay. God just got a hold of him and He was not going to let him go. Tonight I experienced first hand God working in a person who needed him and don't think for a moment the kid doesn't need Jesus. The kid spoke at length at how nothing he was doing in life was working. He wanted more, and tonight he got more then he'll ever bargain for.
If anyone in our church ever doubted God working in people then all they had to do was be there tonight and watch as a divine appointment took place. A man walked in looking for help and he found the greatest help of all...Jesus. I'm so thankful to God that he trusted me enough to send this kid to me, and I'm humbled in the same way. There is a hope...and his name is Jesus.
We all prayed when the group time ended and I took him around to meet others who were in the church. I introduced him to Chris and Tim, our worship leaders, Becky, the children's director and future missionary, Gary, our executive pastor, and Konan, our head pastor. He seemed to click with everyone and he noted how everyone just welcomed him in. He then told me how he expected to just walk into our church to ask about services, get a short unwelcoming answer, and then leave. That was not the case. He felt welcomed and he stayed for the service.
When the service started he sort of just stood there while we praised God. He was antsy and I knew that God was working in him as he just kinda looked around. Konan asked us to pray for what the Lord wanted us to do, and as the kid would tell me a bit later, the words got to him and he gave his life to Jesus. I sat down with him a few minutes later and talked to him, and as I was talking to him, I just felt the Lord speaking into my heart for this young man. I communicated to him what the Lord was telling me and let Pastor know that we had a new Christian in our church.
The thing that amazes me about this kid is he saw himself as selfish for seeking God. I laughed and told him it took me 8 years to do what he just did. It was brave of him to walk into a church with people he's never met and stay. God just got a hold of him and He was not going to let him go. Tonight I experienced first hand God working in a person who needed him and don't think for a moment the kid doesn't need Jesus. The kid spoke at length at how nothing he was doing in life was working. He wanted more, and tonight he got more then he'll ever bargain for.
If anyone in our church ever doubted God working in people then all they had to do was be there tonight and watch as a divine appointment took place. A man walked in looking for help and he found the greatest help of all...Jesus. I'm so thankful to God that he trusted me enough to send this kid to me, and I'm humbled in the same way. There is a hope...and his name is Jesus.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Faith
Today we're starting the Men's community group at C3. We're basing it on being men of action and faith, and that really means (at least to me) starting in James. It's become a core belief of mine by reading the Bible that men are called by God to be at the very least leaders in their homes. That extends to putting your faith in action. So we're going to study that. I'm hoping and praying that we come out of this with more understanding on this and in putting it into context in our lives. I hope to build relationships here that will grow and help us to be accountable as men of God.
Today Becky Medina, our children's administrator, spoke at church. When we picked up our note cards it showed that she was speaking on faith, and it did not disappoint. Becky told us that God has called her overseas and that she is stepping down as the children's admin. Her passion blew me away. But I also was reminded yet again that I need to pursue God on my own calling. Over the past few days he's been working on me about it. It's like I know in my heart what I have to do, and people, just random people, keep speaking words of confirmation into my life. So this is what I know in my heart: God wants me to leave Columbus and move south. Now where, I do not know yet....It could be Cincinnati or it could be Miami. I believe that I have things to do in the inner city and to also work in relationships. These are the things that are shaping in my heart, as well as there is a person who's been placed on my heart that has a role to play in all of this. I'm not sure about all of this so I'm just going to start putting my resume out there and see what happens. God has a place for me and its about what He wants anyways.
So many decisions.....so many places..... I have to walk in faith. Its amazing that what others see in me I don't see in myself. Micah said something to me the other night. I have other friends who call me "Overcomer, " and I have a person like Gary saying to me that he knows God has big things for me. Sometimes I believe it...sometimes I just don't see it. I guess I have to live by faith just to find out.
Today Becky Medina, our children's administrator, spoke at church. When we picked up our note cards it showed that she was speaking on faith, and it did not disappoint. Becky told us that God has called her overseas and that she is stepping down as the children's admin. Her passion blew me away. But I also was reminded yet again that I need to pursue God on my own calling. Over the past few days he's been working on me about it. It's like I know in my heart what I have to do, and people, just random people, keep speaking words of confirmation into my life. So this is what I know in my heart: God wants me to leave Columbus and move south. Now where, I do not know yet....It could be Cincinnati or it could be Miami. I believe that I have things to do in the inner city and to also work in relationships. These are the things that are shaping in my heart, as well as there is a person who's been placed on my heart that has a role to play in all of this. I'm not sure about all of this so I'm just going to start putting my resume out there and see what happens. God has a place for me and its about what He wants anyways.
So many decisions.....so many places..... I have to walk in faith. Its amazing that what others see in me I don't see in myself. Micah said something to me the other night. I have other friends who call me "Overcomer, " and I have a person like Gary saying to me that he knows God has big things for me. Sometimes I believe it...sometimes I just don't see it. I guess I have to live by faith just to find out.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Status Quo
First, things first....did I spell "quo" right? I'm too tired to find out. Let me first tell you that its been a rough week. Everything was smooth sailing for awhile. It was nice calm...just kinda hanging out. Going to work, going to church, you know just being a bachelor. I've been enjoying it bunches. There was even a morning when I woke up and realized, oh wow, I'm over my ex...no really I am. It was a great moment, and one that was a long time coming.
So then all the fun stuff starts happening. It started like this, I met a girl...got close to her, and now we're dating. Then I apply for the full-time position at work that holds the key to finally getting back medical insurance. My friends at work thought I was a shoo-in. (If you read my most recent entry, you found that out not to be the case) Also, as I've been growing closer to the Lord, I've really been trying to trying to find anyone that I know I've hurt, and apologize to them. Why...I dunno. I just figure its the right thing to do. Oh and let me tell you this...I feel like I belong on My Name is Earl. Of course, I've found myself apologizing at work now. Lots of being humbled, I guess. Then someone I've been friends with and in whom I absolutely adore, kinda let the cat out of the bag on some feelings she was dealing with concerning me. Oh my...lots to deal with.
Its all drama...lots of it. However, its hurting me plenty. It hurts to look back and face the things you've done and apologize for them. I've never had a problem doing it, but it still hurts.
The issue with the young lady hurts too, being as though I'm very close to her, yet so far away. I can never seem to be the friend to her that I want to be or that she needs me to be, and in the end, I feel rejected because of it. I guess I simply hope that God uses me in ways I just can't fathom.
Now one more thing...I've been kinda sick for awhile...a couple weeks actually. I've been dealing with alot of pain in my chest, which is a little scary because I've had a heart murmur since I was a child, and it was enough of an issue for the military (isn't it funny that I was in the service for 9 years and they didn't catch it till the end?) to test me on it before I got out. I've got bad genes in this area as well. I won't say I'm scared to go to the doctor, because I'm not, its more like I know I can't afford it. Go figure right?
All of this is happening now...but you know, I'm not really worried. I've made it through alot. I've been through some wars, and even though I've been a bit beaten up in the last couple days I can tell you that I'm blessed. Everything is status quo as far as I'm concerned. I'll be fine.
There was something interesting that happened as church this past Sunday. I was at our Sunday night prayer service when a friend of mine walked up to me and prayed with me...for awhile....like forever. I thought he'd never stop praying for me. Anyways, after he was done he whispered in my ear, "The Lord wants you to know that you're never alone and that he's making a covenant with you that He there will be open heavens between you and Him from now on. You might have to press in a bit, but it's His covenant with you that you'll never be alone. He will always be with you." When my buddy said this, my first thought, well okay, the Bible says in numerous spots He'll never leave us. But what humbled me was that God took the time to communicate to me through my friend to tell me that I'm never alone. Can you fathom that? God taking the time to tell me things I can find in his Word. However, He knew how I was feeling. He know that I was just feeling lost and a bit alone. He knew how to get to me. What a mighty God...what a loving Father. When this all hit me, I just sat there and cried. I cried and said "God, why me? Who am I?" Well the truth is, I'm someone to Him. I'll take that status quo too.
So then all the fun stuff starts happening. It started like this, I met a girl...got close to her, and now we're dating. Then I apply for the full-time position at work that holds the key to finally getting back medical insurance. My friends at work thought I was a shoo-in. (If you read my most recent entry, you found that out not to be the case) Also, as I've been growing closer to the Lord, I've really been trying to trying to find anyone that I know I've hurt, and apologize to them. Why...I dunno. I just figure its the right thing to do. Oh and let me tell you this...I feel like I belong on My Name is Earl. Of course, I've found myself apologizing at work now. Lots of being humbled, I guess. Then someone I've been friends with and in whom I absolutely adore, kinda let the cat out of the bag on some feelings she was dealing with concerning me. Oh my...lots to deal with.
Its all drama...lots of it. However, its hurting me plenty. It hurts to look back and face the things you've done and apologize for them. I've never had a problem doing it, but it still hurts.
The issue with the young lady hurts too, being as though I'm very close to her, yet so far away. I can never seem to be the friend to her that I want to be or that she needs me to be, and in the end, I feel rejected because of it. I guess I simply hope that God uses me in ways I just can't fathom.
Now one more thing...I've been kinda sick for awhile...a couple weeks actually. I've been dealing with alot of pain in my chest, which is a little scary because I've had a heart murmur since I was a child, and it was enough of an issue for the military (isn't it funny that I was in the service for 9 years and they didn't catch it till the end?) to test me on it before I got out. I've got bad genes in this area as well. I won't say I'm scared to go to the doctor, because I'm not, its more like I know I can't afford it. Go figure right?
All of this is happening now...but you know, I'm not really worried. I've made it through alot. I've been through some wars, and even though I've been a bit beaten up in the last couple days I can tell you that I'm blessed. Everything is status quo as far as I'm concerned. I'll be fine.
There was something interesting that happened as church this past Sunday. I was at our Sunday night prayer service when a friend of mine walked up to me and prayed with me...for awhile....like forever. I thought he'd never stop praying for me. Anyways, after he was done he whispered in my ear, "The Lord wants you to know that you're never alone and that he's making a covenant with you that He there will be open heavens between you and Him from now on. You might have to press in a bit, but it's His covenant with you that you'll never be alone. He will always be with you." When my buddy said this, my first thought, well okay, the Bible says in numerous spots He'll never leave us. But what humbled me was that God took the time to communicate to me through my friend to tell me that I'm never alone. Can you fathom that? God taking the time to tell me things I can find in his Word. However, He knew how I was feeling. He know that I was just feeling lost and a bit alone. He knew how to get to me. What a mighty God...what a loving Father. When this all hit me, I just sat there and cried. I cried and said "God, why me? Who am I?" Well the truth is, I'm someone to Him. I'll take that status quo too.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Jesus In Me
I'm a contractor for a national bank in the IT department, and they recently put out positions that were permanent and full-time. I was the only contractor from my training class that did not get picked up and I did not know why. It was hard seeing my friends get their jobs and me not getting it. I mean really, I have no health insurance and my lease is up in a few months and I need to be live right? I didn't know how to take it and went home very upset and depressed. I didn't know why I wasn't hired.
Today, I found out that there is some evidence that I speak to some people in a condescending and rude manner. I had no idea, but enough people said it to keep me from getting hired on. Am I like this? The scary thing is believe my workplace to be my mission field and if I am not representing Christ in my words or in my actions then people are not seeing Jesus in me. I believe now that God has allowed this to happen to get to these things about me that I don't see dealt with. I'm going to be in some form of ministry one day and I need to be a man that people see Jesus in every day. I want all the glory in my life to go to God...and for people to see Jesus in me.
On a side note...its a bit weird to talk about, but my personal life just seems to be a bit weird nowadays. I had someone very close to me say some things that blew me out of the water. More importantly, I know she meant them. I'm not sure how to deal with them now. I didn't expect her to say what she did. I'd like to share something about this friend though... there are so many wonderful things about her that she doesn't see. She considers herself selfish for what she told me and notes how selfish she is in life. She doesn't see or understand that there are things about her that inspire others, including me. I hope that over time she comes to grasp what others see in her. I hope and pray that Jesus impacts her life anew. She has a special plan laid out by God for life.
Good night everyone.
Today, I found out that there is some evidence that I speak to some people in a condescending and rude manner. I had no idea, but enough people said it to keep me from getting hired on. Am I like this? The scary thing is believe my workplace to be my mission field and if I am not representing Christ in my words or in my actions then people are not seeing Jesus in me. I believe now that God has allowed this to happen to get to these things about me that I don't see dealt with. I'm going to be in some form of ministry one day and I need to be a man that people see Jesus in every day. I want all the glory in my life to go to God...and for people to see Jesus in me.
On a side note...its a bit weird to talk about, but my personal life just seems to be a bit weird nowadays. I had someone very close to me say some things that blew me out of the water. More importantly, I know she meant them. I'm not sure how to deal with them now. I didn't expect her to say what she did. I'd like to share something about this friend though... there are so many wonderful things about her that she doesn't see. She considers herself selfish for what she told me and notes how selfish she is in life. She doesn't see or understand that there are things about her that inspire others, including me. I hope that over time she comes to grasp what others see in her. I hope and pray that Jesus impacts her life anew. She has a special plan laid out by God for life.
Good night everyone.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Big Post
So this is what I learned in 2008.
- God's greatest blessing is free will, but sometimes our free will becomes a curse when we make poor decisions.
- You can't make someone love you. Love is a choice. It's also a testament to character.
- Whoever says time heals all wounds is pretty well full of...well stuff. GOD heals all wounds...over time...His time.
- God knows your needs...and is always faithful, even when people aren't.
- Forgiveness needs to be done daily....whoever said its a one time thing?
- Thinking you are ready to move forward doesn't mean you are ready...
- God never gives up on you....He's always there... It's all about Him. His story in our lives is a love story.
2008 was a year where I nearly gave my life away. When my world fell down around me, some friends and family abandoned me, and I was left broken and damaged, a wonderful and Holy God stepped in. He was the Superman I needed. He was and is the savior who redeemed me.
I was out with a buddy of mine, Isaac, roughly a year ago. While we were out he told me to lift up my hands to God and just receive Him...just receive Him. I felt embarrassed, but I did. Isaac turned and showed me his phone and in my name's place he'd typed in "Overcomer." He proclaimed that I was the Overcomer and that God had a wonderful plan for my life. On Christmas Day we spoke again. This time he's home in Kentucky and we were talking about how far we'd come in a year. It was here a whisper in my ear said...Overcomer. I reminded Isaac of what he said and we just thanked God. Through Christ, I've overcome the overwhelming loss of my marriage. There is plenty that still has to be taken care of in my heart, but I'm so thankful for the new life he's given me. He's restored HOPE. He's restored PURPOSE. He's restored TRUTH. He's restored ME.
I still have a long road ahead of me. I still have plenty of healing to do, as a wonderful person pointed out to me just yesterday. But as long as I can remember throughout all the trials of my life He's been there to comfort me, and he's always sent someone to comfort me. He sent Matt Valantine in 6th grade gym class to console me over my baby brother's death. (Its been 18 years, but thank you Matt). He sent my grandmother to me when a home was split and I needed a place to run to. He sent me to a church in Pinkerington, Ohio just as the world was going to fall on me. Now in the past year, people have surrounded me with such love and care. People stood the gap for me when life wasn't worth living. Anyone who dares to say that God does not exist simply needs to look at my life and others like mine. There is a living God and his Son saved us all. In this coming year may God fill you with unspeakable joy and peace. May his truth penetrate all that you are and will be. Goodbye 2008 and Hello 2009.
This year marks a change. I've spent the year receiving. Now there are opportunities to give. The big one on the calendar is April 18-25 when C3 is taking a team to Jamaica for a missions trip to work in an orphanage among other activities. Please pray that everyone God has intended to go is financially able to go.
Night folks...sorry for the rambling...well...not really but anyways, God Bless.
- God's greatest blessing is free will, but sometimes our free will becomes a curse when we make poor decisions.
- You can't make someone love you. Love is a choice. It's also a testament to character.
- Whoever says time heals all wounds is pretty well full of...well stuff. GOD heals all wounds...over time...His time.
- God knows your needs...and is always faithful, even when people aren't.
- Forgiveness needs to be done daily....whoever said its a one time thing?
- Thinking you are ready to move forward doesn't mean you are ready...
- God never gives up on you....He's always there... It's all about Him. His story in our lives is a love story.
2008 was a year where I nearly gave my life away. When my world fell down around me, some friends and family abandoned me, and I was left broken and damaged, a wonderful and Holy God stepped in. He was the Superman I needed. He was and is the savior who redeemed me.
I was out with a buddy of mine, Isaac, roughly a year ago. While we were out he told me to lift up my hands to God and just receive Him...just receive Him. I felt embarrassed, but I did. Isaac turned and showed me his phone and in my name's place he'd typed in "Overcomer." He proclaimed that I was the Overcomer and that God had a wonderful plan for my life. On Christmas Day we spoke again. This time he's home in Kentucky and we were talking about how far we'd come in a year. It was here a whisper in my ear said...Overcomer. I reminded Isaac of what he said and we just thanked God. Through Christ, I've overcome the overwhelming loss of my marriage. There is plenty that still has to be taken care of in my heart, but I'm so thankful for the new life he's given me. He's restored HOPE. He's restored PURPOSE. He's restored TRUTH. He's restored ME.
I still have a long road ahead of me. I still have plenty of healing to do, as a wonderful person pointed out to me just yesterday. But as long as I can remember throughout all the trials of my life He's been there to comfort me, and he's always sent someone to comfort me. He sent Matt Valantine in 6th grade gym class to console me over my baby brother's death. (Its been 18 years, but thank you Matt). He sent my grandmother to me when a home was split and I needed a place to run to. He sent me to a church in Pinkerington, Ohio just as the world was going to fall on me. Now in the past year, people have surrounded me with such love and care. People stood the gap for me when life wasn't worth living. Anyone who dares to say that God does not exist simply needs to look at my life and others like mine. There is a living God and his Son saved us all. In this coming year may God fill you with unspeakable joy and peace. May his truth penetrate all that you are and will be. Goodbye 2008 and Hello 2009.
This year marks a change. I've spent the year receiving. Now there are opportunities to give. The big one on the calendar is April 18-25 when C3 is taking a team to Jamaica for a missions trip to work in an orphanage among other activities. Please pray that everyone God has intended to go is financially able to go.
Night folks...sorry for the rambling...well...not really but anyways, God Bless.
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