Love your wife as Christ loved the church. Give yourself up for your wife. [Ephesians 5:25]
As I've noted before I made many mistakes in my marriage. Failure to love my wife as Christ loved the church is definitely the most prominent one. Its now that she's gone do I even fully understand how much I love her. God literally pulled the blinders away from my eyes in the weeks prior to our separation, and now I completely understand what I should have been as a husband. No, I'm not beating myself up or anything like that, but I have learned my lesson. I do believe that God will allow me a second chance one day when I'm ready. In the meantime, like my focus last weekend was to be able to forgive, now this weekend it's for my wife, to take her to the foot of the cross and lift her up to the Lord. If you have a moment during the weekend just to pray for her, I'd appreciate it.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Full Armor of God
Yesterday was probably the worst day in months that I can remember in terms of being attacked spiritually. It literally felt as though I was being held down to the ground by some invisible hand. Thoughts of failure and temptation riddled my mind. I prayed...and prayed some more. Then texted David and asked him to pray. It was an ongoing battle as I moved throughout the day and it wasn't until I actually started my way home from work and get serious with God that it finally ended. I looked back later on as I laid on my couch just exhausted from the day and noticed that I had not put on the full armor of God yesterday. Ephesians 6 talks about it and its definitely a subject of many teachings in church as a child, but what does it mean to put on the Full Armor of God? Its made up of the Gospel of Peace, Belt of Truth, Breastplate of Righteousness, Shield of Faith, and the Sword of the Spirit (God's Word). What do you think it means by putting it on? This morning as I prayed I literally spoke out that I was putting the armor on. The truth is God gives us his resources to defend ourselves when Satan comes against us. So how is it sometimes we fail? Just something for thought. Only you can really answer that question on your own behalf. As for myself, I'll just be honest and say that is something I'm seeking the Lord about.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
What Forgiveness Brought Me...
Last weekend, I spent my time with God forgiving both myself and my wife for our marital transgressions. I chronicled a little about it here, but I can tell you as I went down my list and crossed stuff off, I felt a little bit more free with each cross off. When I finally finished I felt that total freedom that I've been waiting for. However, another gift was also released to me. There was a newfound love and fervor for my wife that I have not felt in a very long time. Instead of whispering unforgiving things under my breath to her, I began whispering words of love and passion to my wife instead. Today as I got news from my wife that she was getting work done for the dissolution papers from her, I responded by first seeking God for her and then I replied to her in an email with words of compassion, love, and care that only God can give.
Forgiveness brings these thing out for us...freedom, love, power, strength, courage, etc. God does it...he always does. Rebekah, thank you btw for posting all those forgiveness verses in your comments.
Forgiveness brings these thing out for us...freedom, love, power, strength, courage, etc. God does it...he always does. Rebekah, thank you btw for posting all those forgiveness verses in your comments.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Just a Quickie...
Saw this on Godtube and had to share: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5
Father and Son Salvation
Yesterday, my buddy David's son, Alex, gave his life to the Lord. David and I were actually on our way home from a bible study when David noticed a text from Alex. He clicked on the text and Alex started right away stating that he'd done it. David and I had both noticed that Alex was close to making that critical decision and that was one of the reasons we had started a rotating fast during the week. David had actually just talked to Alex the previous Wednesday about it, and basically planted the seed. David prayed and fasted, and I prayed and fasted, and here on Sunday afternoon Alex went up on an altar that afternoon and gave his life to Jesus. David immediately starting calling around and texting folks to let them know that Alex had committed his life to the Lord. What a joy!!!
David is going through his own struggle, but the cool thing is that Romans 8:28 is exemplified in this example. I asked David if he hadn't gone through what he's gone through and become what he is now as a result, would Alex had gotten saved last night? He replied no. You see one of the first things God dealt with in David when David returned to the Lord was David seeing God has his father...as his Daddy. As David gained that relationship with God, God enabled David to build that type of a relationship with his children. David and Alex are closer then they have ever been. Alex wants to be with his Daddy every chance he can get, and now he has both the Spiritual Daddy and his earthly Daddy. Whenever we wonder about God's faithfulness in a rough path remember that God causes all things to come together for GOOD for those who love him. Congratulations Alex on your salvation. Your world has been opened to all that God has for you.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28 (NIV)
David is going through his own struggle, but the cool thing is that Romans 8:28 is exemplified in this example. I asked David if he hadn't gone through what he's gone through and become what he is now as a result, would Alex had gotten saved last night? He replied no. You see one of the first things God dealt with in David when David returned to the Lord was David seeing God has his father...as his Daddy. As David gained that relationship with God, God enabled David to build that type of a relationship with his children. David and Alex are closer then they have ever been. Alex wants to be with his Daddy every chance he can get, and now he has both the Spiritual Daddy and his earthly Daddy. Whenever we wonder about God's faithfulness in a rough path remember that God causes all things to come together for GOOD for those who love him. Congratulations Alex on your salvation. Your world has been opened to all that God has for you.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28 (NIV)
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Still Plugging Away...
As I continue to work on my forgiveness list, I realize how hard it truly is to forgive people, yet God does it everyday. We're forgiven to the point where we are openly allowed to approach the throne of grace to petition the Lord with our wants and needs. I'm blown away by this. It simply amazes me that God loves us so much that he not only forgives us our sins, but then desires for us to come to him with our needs.
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrew 4:16
I don't know about you, but I have so many needs I can barely keep count and yet the Lord knows my every need. So while I keep plugging away on my forgiveness list, God himself is going before me. I stand amazed...simply amazed.
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrew 4:16
I don't know about you, but I have so many needs I can barely keep count and yet the Lord knows my every need. So while I keep plugging away on my forgiveness list, God himself is going before me. I stand amazed...simply amazed.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Forgiveness...
One of the things we as human beings find it hard to do is to forgive people and ourselves for that matter. This is something I've talked long and hard with my Executive Pastor and friend, Gary Fowler (you can find the link to his interesting and yet witty blog off to the right) with over the course of the past couple months. The truth is, as I'm sure you might have guessed, that I haven't forgiven myself for the mistakes I made in my marriage. I understand thats who I was, but I tend to go back over and over again and think about all the failures I committed. So this weekend I'm committing my time to forgiveness for both myself and to be able to forgive my wife. Everyday I wake up and say that I forgive her, but yet I catch myself yelling at her under my breath in places like the shower or when I'm fixing something to eat. I need to forgive her too. Anyways the idea I got from Gary is kinda mutated now but in short I'm going to isolate myself with just God and take each issue I need to forgive both myself and my wife to him...and then forgive.
In order to move on with life...in order to love...in order to truly love God and others the way we are meant to do, I must forgive....I want to forgive...I will forgive, with his help...I will forgive.
In order to move on with life...in order to love...in order to truly love God and others the way we are meant to do, I must forgive....I want to forgive...I will forgive, with his help...I will forgive.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Who Was I? Who Am I?
Over the past several days I've mentioned some of the things that happened to bring to the place where I am now. Now I'm going to be more specific not to garner attention or to throw a pity party, but to give a clearer picture of what God has done in me.
Who was I?
- Angry...if I didn't yell at someone on the road during the day, I'd shock even myself.
- An addict...I got myself addicted to pornography a couple years ago and even though the Lord healed me, it destroyed the loyalty my wife had to me. It tore away my strength and I was no longer seen as the man or the protector, just a burden.
- Selfish... I didn't give my wife the love she needed because I was too busy taking care of the things I wanted. I was into numerous hobbies, and I spent more time with them then I did with her. Rick Warren is correct in his book, The Purpose-Driven Life, that time is the greatest example of love I can give. By the time my wife and I separated, she had gotten used to me not being around. By the time the time the Lord opened my eyes and I dropped these hobbies, my wife had had enough.
- Lazy...I did not give my wife the support she needed around the house. I was a burden to her, not someone she could keep loving.
- The failed spiritual head of the family...When we got married, I accepted these responsibilities readily, but over the course of the marriage I failed constantly. I didn't mind my wife's walk and obviously not my own. I believe this has been my greatest failure as a man.
Who Am I?
- Restored...The Lord has restored my strength and my heart. He's torn away my anger and filled me with a renewed spirit.
- Loving...I look at everyone with love now. I want to exemplify my father. The love he has filled me with is unconditional.
- Warrior...You don't see me with a real sword and shield, but I fight with my words. Prayer is my weapon.
- A man of faith....All things are possible through Christ. He builds my faith everyday.
- The Priest of the Home...even with my wife away, I've taken up my role in the home. My home is holy ground. It's my secret place for prayer and worship to the Lord. All who live in my home, must understand that as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
- Submitted...I'm surrendered to God to use for his purposes alone...I want what he wants...nothing less.
- Child of God - I'm saved by his grace and mercy. I am his child and I love him as my father.
What was the point of this? To exhibit what the Lord can do. I was everything I shouldn't be, and now I'm becoming what God meant for me to be. Despite the world's belief that people can't be changed, I have been changed, and will continue to be changed. Someday, I will be changed into the unshakable man of God that I'm supposed to be. Remember, he is the potter and we are the clay.
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."
Romans 12:2 (NASB)
Who was I?
- Angry...if I didn't yell at someone on the road during the day, I'd shock even myself.
- An addict...I got myself addicted to pornography a couple years ago and even though the Lord healed me, it destroyed the loyalty my wife had to me. It tore away my strength and I was no longer seen as the man or the protector, just a burden.
- Selfish... I didn't give my wife the love she needed because I was too busy taking care of the things I wanted. I was into numerous hobbies, and I spent more time with them then I did with her. Rick Warren is correct in his book, The Purpose-Driven Life, that time is the greatest example of love I can give. By the time my wife and I separated, she had gotten used to me not being around. By the time the time the Lord opened my eyes and I dropped these hobbies, my wife had had enough.
- Lazy...I did not give my wife the support she needed around the house. I was a burden to her, not someone she could keep loving.
- The failed spiritual head of the family...When we got married, I accepted these responsibilities readily, but over the course of the marriage I failed constantly. I didn't mind my wife's walk and obviously not my own. I believe this has been my greatest failure as a man.
Who Am I?
- Restored...The Lord has restored my strength and my heart. He's torn away my anger and filled me with a renewed spirit.
- Loving...I look at everyone with love now. I want to exemplify my father. The love he has filled me with is unconditional.
- Warrior...You don't see me with a real sword and shield, but I fight with my words. Prayer is my weapon.
- A man of faith....All things are possible through Christ. He builds my faith everyday.
- The Priest of the Home...even with my wife away, I've taken up my role in the home. My home is holy ground. It's my secret place for prayer and worship to the Lord. All who live in my home, must understand that as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
- Submitted...I'm surrendered to God to use for his purposes alone...I want what he wants...nothing less.
- Child of God - I'm saved by his grace and mercy. I am his child and I love him as my father.
What was the point of this? To exhibit what the Lord can do. I was everything I shouldn't be, and now I'm becoming what God meant for me to be. Despite the world's belief that people can't be changed, I have been changed, and will continue to be changed. Someday, I will be changed into the unshakable man of God that I'm supposed to be. Remember, he is the potter and we are the clay.
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."
Romans 12:2 (NASB)
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Thankful
Yesterday as I spoke of trials and what I was going through it was easy to mention all the awful things that I was dealing with or hoping God would change. So today I thought would be a great day to actually list everything that I am thankful for.
- I'm thankful to be alive.
- I'm thankful for the 9 years I spent with my wife.
- I'm thankful for my family.
- I'm thankful for the church the Lord found for me.
- I'm thankful for the Christian brothers and sisters the Lord raised up for me in my time of crisis.
- I'm thankful for the salvation, grace, and forgiveness the Lord has gifted me.
- I'm thankful for the call my Lord has placed upon my head.
- I'm thankful for the job the Lord has just blessed me with today. I'm so thankful for it.
- I'm thankful the Lord has been using me to help others.
When I list these things its easy to forget I've been through all that I've been through. I am a blessed man, even with the hardships. Even as we struggle, remember to thank the Lord for what we do have. There is power in thanksgiving. Thank you, my Lord.
Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Psalm 107:1 (NASB)
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Trials
I'm learning that to be unshakable you must go through many trials. The Lord had an easier path for me that I didn't take by not being obedient to him as the spiritual head of the family, and now I must take the harder road. The cool thing is due to his promise in Romans 8:28, he's going to work it out for good and reach more people through me then before. I'll take that any day of the week. Yesterday, for the first time I can remember, it was just God and I dealing with a trial, and when I prayed, he took care of it. I didn't have anyone else to lean on at the moment, and to be honest, some of that is by my choice because I wanted to just lean on God. We all need our church support in this world, however I really needed to see God work within me...and he did.
My faith is being developed through these trials. I have plenty of things to stand in faith about: my church, a good job and finances, whatever mission the Lord has planned for me, and my marriage.
The marriage is hardest one to deal with because at first glance, it looks absolutely dead. My wife is walking a different path than I am at the moment. Many people that I know and respect have told me to just file papers and start over saying, "God will provide someone better." To be honest, I've thought about it and I do understand that the Lord would provide someone for me to spend my life with, but in my heart I can't do it. God hates divorce more then I do, and he wants this to work more then I do. Most importantly, he wants both of us doing his work together as a team in covenant, like we were originally meant to be. I don't want to stand before God one day and have him ask me why I did not stand in faith for my wife, nor would I want my wife to do the same. So I choose the route that the world and some Christians deem to be foolish: I'm standing in faith that the Lord is going to work on my wife as much as he's working on me, and that at God's appointed time, our paths will be brought back together. I've also sat back with the Lord and noted that I understand that I'm not meant to wait forever too. So in that, I know that as I'm faithful my Lord is being faithful, and that he is going before me on these matters. I'm standing in faith.
Before my wife and I separated, she told me that she had been taking the situation to God. I have a decent understanding of her issues now, and as I sat back on Sunday morning an interesting fact came to my attention: The Lord answered her prayer, and the irony is she's not around to see it. I realized that the Lord worked on me to bring me back to him, and once I came back he started a good work in me...and he will complete it. I'm becoming the husband that she wanted all along. He answered her prayers. So as these trials continue, I understand that he will answer my prayers. He saved us because he loves us and he wants to answer the prayers of those he loves. And because I believe this, despite all the pain I'm going through, despite all the temptations I face, and despite how foolish I look in the face of all these trials, I believe my God will bring my wife back, will provide the job he desires for me, will bless whatever ministry he places me in, and will make me the unshakable man of God he intends for me to be.
Faith is being sure of what you hope for and being certain of what you can not see.
(Hebrews 11:1 NIV)
My faith is being developed through these trials. I have plenty of things to stand in faith about: my church, a good job and finances, whatever mission the Lord has planned for me, and my marriage.
The marriage is hardest one to deal with because at first glance, it looks absolutely dead. My wife is walking a different path than I am at the moment. Many people that I know and respect have told me to just file papers and start over saying, "God will provide someone better." To be honest, I've thought about it and I do understand that the Lord would provide someone for me to spend my life with, but in my heart I can't do it. God hates divorce more then I do, and he wants this to work more then I do. Most importantly, he wants both of us doing his work together as a team in covenant, like we were originally meant to be. I don't want to stand before God one day and have him ask me why I did not stand in faith for my wife, nor would I want my wife to do the same. So I choose the route that the world and some Christians deem to be foolish: I'm standing in faith that the Lord is going to work on my wife as much as he's working on me, and that at God's appointed time, our paths will be brought back together. I've also sat back with the Lord and noted that I understand that I'm not meant to wait forever too. So in that, I know that as I'm faithful my Lord is being faithful, and that he is going before me on these matters. I'm standing in faith.
Before my wife and I separated, she told me that she had been taking the situation to God. I have a decent understanding of her issues now, and as I sat back on Sunday morning an interesting fact came to my attention: The Lord answered her prayer, and the irony is she's not around to see it. I realized that the Lord worked on me to bring me back to him, and once I came back he started a good work in me...and he will complete it. I'm becoming the husband that she wanted all along. He answered her prayers. So as these trials continue, I understand that he will answer my prayers. He saved us because he loves us and he wants to answer the prayers of those he loves. And because I believe this, despite all the pain I'm going through, despite all the temptations I face, and despite how foolish I look in the face of all these trials, I believe my God will bring my wife back, will provide the job he desires for me, will bless whatever ministry he places me in, and will make me the unshakable man of God he intends for me to be.
Faith is being sure of what you hope for and being certain of what you can not see.
(Hebrews 11:1 NIV)
Monday, February 18, 2008
Where the Goal Came From!
It seems strange that someone would decide, out of the blue, that their goal in their Christian walk would be to be unshakeable. I mean if we want to be technical then the Bible is a teaching of God's salvation of mankind through his son, Jesus, and also an instruction on how to be that unshakeable man or woman of God. Think about it...from Genesis to Paul's Letters to Revelation we are constantly taught through God's Word how to live the life he designed for us, and that includes being such great people of faith that when the world smacks us around...we can still stand in the comfort and knowledge that God is still on the throne.
The idea of being unshakeable hit me one day when a friend of mine by the name of Nathan told me a dream he'd had about my wife and I. In this dream, my wife was sitting on a couch on one end, and on the other end of the couch, I was sitting there consumed by the Joy of the Lord. I was unshakeable. I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to my wife, but I was entirely focused on God and it intrigued her. She talked to me a little, and I laughed and talked to her. Then she moved a little closer and talked some more and so forth. The dream ended with an angel watching us with arms crossed with an approving smile and my wife was directly in front of me. Now I want to make this clear that I'm not seeking to be an unshakeable man of God to get my wife back. But the idea that I would be so focused on the Lord and have such joy in my life appealed to me. I decided thats exactly the kind of man I want to be: Unshakeable. I ran it past my prayer partner, David, and he liked the idea too. We're now using it as a basis for the men's ministry David leads at our church and has become a focal point in our lives.
There are many people in our generation that seem to be unable to withstand Satan's assault on mankind. However, that is not what we are called to do. "Resist the devil and he will flee from you," states God's Word. We are called to be the men and women of faith that God uses for his glory. I want to be used by God for his glory every day of my life. Do you?
For those of you reading this blog thinking I'm preaching...well...you're right. This is a passion that the Lord has laid on my heart. We have nothing to lose by going for it and everything to gain.
For those of you reading this blog thinking I'm nuts, well thats fine too. But still...keep reading just to see how nutty I get. My journey is just getting started after all. Cya all later.
By the way, if you are interested in reading about being unshakeable outside of the Bible, check out Frank Damazio's Seven Declarations for an Unshakeable Life. It will give you definite insight into living the life of an unshakeable Christian. Okay...I'm done rambling....for now.
The idea of being unshakeable hit me one day when a friend of mine by the name of Nathan told me a dream he'd had about my wife and I. In this dream, my wife was sitting on a couch on one end, and on the other end of the couch, I was sitting there consumed by the Joy of the Lord. I was unshakeable. I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to my wife, but I was entirely focused on God and it intrigued her. She talked to me a little, and I laughed and talked to her. Then she moved a little closer and talked some more and so forth. The dream ended with an angel watching us with arms crossed with an approving smile and my wife was directly in front of me. Now I want to make this clear that I'm not seeking to be an unshakeable man of God to get my wife back. But the idea that I would be so focused on the Lord and have such joy in my life appealed to me. I decided thats exactly the kind of man I want to be: Unshakeable. I ran it past my prayer partner, David, and he liked the idea too. We're now using it as a basis for the men's ministry David leads at our church and has become a focal point in our lives.
There are many people in our generation that seem to be unable to withstand Satan's assault on mankind. However, that is not what we are called to do. "Resist the devil and he will flee from you," states God's Word. We are called to be the men and women of faith that God uses for his glory. I want to be used by God for his glory every day of my life. Do you?
For those of you reading this blog thinking I'm preaching...well...you're right. This is a passion that the Lord has laid on my heart. We have nothing to lose by going for it and everything to gain.
For those of you reading this blog thinking I'm nuts, well thats fine too. But still...keep reading just to see how nutty I get. My journey is just getting started after all. Cya all later.
By the way, if you are interested in reading about being unshakeable outside of the Bible, check out Frank Damazio's Seven Declarations for an Unshakeable Life. It will give you definite insight into living the life of an unshakeable Christian. Okay...I'm done rambling....for now.
So where in the Bible does it talk about being unshakeable?
Okay...so I'm on this kick about being unshakeable. Is it possible for us as human beings to be unshakeable? Is it even Biblical?
I can tell you that on November 18 of last year when my wife and I separated, I would have told you it wasn't possible. I was destroyed...completely broken. I've never felt pain like I felt that day, but here I am a couple months later...still feeling that pain and to be honest, I do feel her loss all the time. However, I understand that if we allow God to work in us, we can become the unshakeable people God intended us to be. And yes...it's Biblical.
You can find mention of it in Psalms 15 and also Psalms 16:7-8. Psalms 27 gives further insight into an unshakeable man in the form of David and his walk with God. It is possible, but it takes a sincere desire for the Lord. Tomorrow, I will share where the idea of becoming unshakeable came in my life...in the meantime for those of you who have accepted Christ as Lord....is this something you want for your walk? And those of you who are not Christians...would you like to live an unshakeable life?
I can tell you that on November 18 of last year when my wife and I separated, I would have told you it wasn't possible. I was destroyed...completely broken. I've never felt pain like I felt that day, but here I am a couple months later...still feeling that pain and to be honest, I do feel her loss all the time. However, I understand that if we allow God to work in us, we can become the unshakeable people God intended us to be. And yes...it's Biblical.
You can find mention of it in Psalms 15 and also Psalms 16:7-8. Psalms 27 gives further insight into an unshakeable man in the form of David and his walk with God. It is possible, but it takes a sincere desire for the Lord. Tomorrow, I will share where the idea of becoming unshakeable came in my life...in the meantime for those of you who have accepted Christ as Lord....is this something you want for your walk? And those of you who are not Christians...would you like to live an unshakeable life?
Saturday, February 16, 2008
This is Not About Me...
This blog contains my story, but it is not about me. I'm going to reference my life, but nonetheless...it is not about me. I'm sharing this story to be a testimony to others...an encouragement for those walking through their own valleys, or maybe a story of hope for those in a situation where it doesn't seem God is listening. He is....he's always listening.
My name is Derek. Despite being raised a Christian, my eyes have seen alot of hurt and my body has felt more then its fair share of pain. There are portions of my childhood before the age of 10 that I simply can't remember except for that I hated vacuum cords. In the midst of all that hurt, I do remember my mother coming into my room when I was 7 or 8 in tears. She laid hands on me and prayed over me and then asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus Christ into my heart as Lord and Savior. I did it without a second thought, and even though I've been through what seems to be an eternity of issues, I can still reflect upon that day as the day my walk with the Lord began.
As I grew up, I still struggled with anger and other scars from childhood. I remember being in high school and some kid starting a fight with me after class. I lost my temper and proceeded to beat the tar out of him to the point where his face was not recognizable. I don't even remember most of the fight. I was too angry to remember it. I was viewed as a hypocrite from that point forward by people as a Christian guy one second beat up someone the next. I carried these issues into my marriage to my wife.
My marriage to my wife started well. We did devotions every night and we prayed together. However we each brought our own baggage into this marriage. Now I'm not going to tell you what her issues were. I love my wife very much and would give up my life before putting her in any pain so her issues remain private, but I can tell you that our issues and our weaknesses allowed Satan an inroads into our marriage. I now stand before you a man who is separated from his wife as a result.
However, in the months before my wife and I separated, the Lord began to call out to me...truth is he probably was the entire time but I failed to listen. In July 2007, I found a church in Pickerington, Ohio through my sister and we started going there...and I began my walk towards the Lord. It has now been three months since my wife and I separated and I'm now closer to the Lord then I've ever been despite all the pain I'm going through. I'm happier then I've ever been. How is this possible? That's why its not about me...its about God....Jesus...his power...his love...his grace...his mercy. If I were alone it would be safe to say that I should be afraid because I don't know what is going to happen to me, but I cling to God's Word that states, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)
No matter what our circumstances we should not be afraid. If whatever situation you are in has you scared then remember that God has something for that. It's all about him...and he's the one who can make us unshakeable.
My name is Derek. Despite being raised a Christian, my eyes have seen alot of hurt and my body has felt more then its fair share of pain. There are portions of my childhood before the age of 10 that I simply can't remember except for that I hated vacuum cords. In the midst of all that hurt, I do remember my mother coming into my room when I was 7 or 8 in tears. She laid hands on me and prayed over me and then asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus Christ into my heart as Lord and Savior. I did it without a second thought, and even though I've been through what seems to be an eternity of issues, I can still reflect upon that day as the day my walk with the Lord began.
As I grew up, I still struggled with anger and other scars from childhood. I remember being in high school and some kid starting a fight with me after class. I lost my temper and proceeded to beat the tar out of him to the point where his face was not recognizable. I don't even remember most of the fight. I was too angry to remember it. I was viewed as a hypocrite from that point forward by people as a Christian guy one second beat up someone the next. I carried these issues into my marriage to my wife.
My marriage to my wife started well. We did devotions every night and we prayed together. However we each brought our own baggage into this marriage. Now I'm not going to tell you what her issues were. I love my wife very much and would give up my life before putting her in any pain so her issues remain private, but I can tell you that our issues and our weaknesses allowed Satan an inroads into our marriage. I now stand before you a man who is separated from his wife as a result.
However, in the months before my wife and I separated, the Lord began to call out to me...truth is he probably was the entire time but I failed to listen. In July 2007, I found a church in Pickerington, Ohio through my sister and we started going there...and I began my walk towards the Lord. It has now been three months since my wife and I separated and I'm now closer to the Lord then I've ever been despite all the pain I'm going through. I'm happier then I've ever been. How is this possible? That's why its not about me...its about God....Jesus...his power...his love...his grace...his mercy. If I were alone it would be safe to say that I should be afraid because I don't know what is going to happen to me, but I cling to God's Word that states, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)
No matter what our circumstances we should not be afraid. If whatever situation you are in has you scared then remember that God has something for that. It's all about him...and he's the one who can make us unshakeable.
My Journey
Hi there. For those of you that know me then you know what I'm walking through. However, there are some of you that don't know me and I'd like to share what God is doing in my life. My goal as I walk through the fire is to be refined into a man completely unshakeable (don't know if that is a real word...but it is now) in his faith. Over the next few days I'm going to tell you my story and pray that the Lord uses me in your life. I'll see you all later.
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